My Lessons for Living in Alignment With Your Values
Wow. I have finally created the video and email and website updates that I needed to ‘launch’ my business. Soooo many weeks later than I had planned. Why? Because I wasn’t ready on the inside.
Nope, that’s not right.
I was growing the muscle to deal with failure. Or more specifically, the fear of failure.
Growth is sooo uncomfortable! I tried everything and worked on pieces bit-by-bit, but not in the most ‘efficient’ of ways. I didn’t want to ignore this growth, to be efficient. I can now see that the time that passed allowed me to really move forward in alignment with my values. The drafts I had ready a few weeks ago were just not sitting well with me.
I needed the time to marinate and consider how I really wanted to do this, instead of following a well worn path. It’s so me, I choose to act in alignment with myself, but this doesn’t always fit in the traditional timelines of the world.
I’m trying to encapsulate what learnings I’ve had and how to be okay with taking the time I need to find alignment. Here’s what I have so far:
Reconnect with my hope: Over the past few weeks, I felt hopeless, ashamed, guilty, and wanted to just quit on my dream. Learning through conversations with my community and sources of inspiration like podcasts and books, got me reconnected to my why, the big north star that guides my life. They helped me lift my head up and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember that doing something new and different requires uncomfortable growth, and that I can handle it. In the big picture, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want a big, adventurous, true-to-my-values life. I’m proud that I don’t fit into the traditional path, AND I have to remember that doing so has its own set of tradeoffs. I also know that I am a creative, determined (a.k.a. stubborn), and resourceful person - I can trust myself to figure it out eventually.
Sit in the discomfort, feel it, examine it, integrate it. A friend helped me think about the discomfort as a spider web that had me flailing. I was pressuring myself to keep walking, even when I was covered in spider web! She then asked me to imagine that the spider web was made of cotton candy. Could I stop flailing, inspect the cotton candy, and even ingest it as part of my journey? Yes, it was not my default behavior, but it’s what I ended up doing. I’ll be writing more about this soon.
I hope these thoughts are helpful to you. I’d love help with any tips you have.
How do you deal with the discomfort and self-doubt of doing new things? Do you experience that or does something else get in your way?